Best Intentions and Blended Families - Random thoughts for the day

Today I was thinking of blended families.  Each one comes with its' challenges and blessings.  Being a step-mom to two grown women with children of their own, I have learned to tread carefully. I never plan my young daughter's birthday party with only her in mind, but instead consider my step-daughter's desires and what they want and whether they might be hurt if I didn't do this or that. I can't plan outings with my steps because they don't want their birth-mother to be upset.  They don't include me on emailed pictures of the grandkids because their birth-mother might be threatened. Grandkids aren't allowed to spend the night because they must consider their mother's feelings first. Now don't think harshly of their b-mother.  She is their mother - the one that helped raise them.  I wasn't around when they were in the home.  I know it would be hard to think of someone that came into their dad's life after they were grown with families of their own as another mother.  I get all that - and know I must put their feelings and concerns first but still - there are times I wish we could be the friends I know we were meant to be.  I truly enjoy them and being a part of their lives.  I love them so much because they are 1) my darling husband's children; 2) they have sweet natures; 3) they try to live good moral lives and treat others well; .....well, there are so many reasons they are lovable.  And the grands - well, of course, I think there are no other children like them.  I am concerned though.  My 7-yr-old daughter is noticing the differences now.  I have to take one day at a time and make the best decisions I can for our complete family - (because I see it as "complete" rather than mine, his, and ours) regardless whether they include me in their family.  My grandmother taught me to not look at me - me - me all the time, but to consider others first.  Sometimes it is difficult but I think of Grandma Katherine and decisions come easier. 

Luke 6:31

New King James Version (NKJV)

³¹ And just as you want men to do to you, you also do to them likewise.